Book: "DO IT!, Let's Get Off Our Buts"
Author: John Roger and Peter McWilliams
ISBN: 0-931580-96-X
Go to 2017 Directory of Authors & Books
1. Discouraged= Exhaustion page 5
2. Training we received as children is appropriate for children, these same rules don't apply to adults. Children are dependent and adults are independent. page 5
3. We still let "what other people might think" affect our behavior. p. 5
4. Adults justify any personal failure by finding someone or something outside ourselves to blame. page 5
5. Humans are trained to honor "the comfort zone" page 5
6. New Actions= feel, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, anger= uncomfortable
7. fear= uncomfortableness
8. look into: everything we wish we had learned about life in school-but didn't
9. But=BS Behold the Underlying Truth page 17
10. "We are all, right now, living the life of our own choosing." page 23
11. FEAR=False Expectations Appearing Real page 33
12. Fear breads lack of experience, lack of experience breeds ignorance, ignorance breeds more fear page 35
13. When unreal fears become extreme, it's known as paranoia. page 35
14. Guilt is the anger we feel toward ourselves when we do something "wrong" page 39
15. We may do something new, enjoy the doing of it (or the result of doing it), and guilt will actually convince us that we didn't like it (or got nothing from it). Although we learned something from the failure, guilt steps in and convinces us, "The lesson wasn't worth cost." page 39
16. Unworthiness is the deep-seated belief we have about ourselves that tells us we're undeserving, not good enough, inadequate, and fundamentally deficient. page 43
17. In some Eastern traditions, they call this the center of Chi, a fundamental point for focusing energy and moving ahead in life. page 43
18. Abraham Lincoln said, "it is easy to make a man miserable while he feels he is unworthy of himself." page 45
19. Unworthiness, If someone loves us, we resent them-how can we respect anyone who falls for the facade we slapped together so haphazardly and manipulate so desperately? Anyone loving us must be easily deceived, and not worthy of our attention. Conversely, the people who dislikes us we tend to (sometimes secretly) admire-they must be very wise to see to the truth of our very being. page 45
20. A common "cover-up" for hurt is anger. page 47
21. Some people have anger as the automatic response to disappointment. page 47
22. A common defense against hurt feelings is depression. page 47
23. Over time, the result of all this fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and anger is discouragement. page 49
24. Discouragement promotes inaction, and inaction guarantees failure- a life of not living our dreams. page 49
25. When they are young, baby elephants are heavily chained to stakes driven deep in the ground. Pull as they might, they remain firmly tethered. Soon, the baby elephant becomes discouraged and stops pulling. it learns to stay put. Over time, the trainer uses lighter and lighter restraints. Eventually, a small rope attached to a stick barely anchored in the earth is sufficient to stop a fully grown elephant from moving. page 49
26. Eighty percent of success is showing up.- Woody Allen page 51
27. Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which does not possess- Samuel Johnson page 53
28. Good behavior is the last refuge of mediocrity- Henry S. Haskins. page 53
29. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield page 55
30. The major reasons parents don't raise their children free from trauma.
a. parents don't know any better
b. children require different rules than adults
c. parents have other things to do besides raising children
d. who on earth knows what a child needs when?
e. page 57
31. Human beings, as a species, have an in-built, automatic, biological response to perceived danger: to fight like hell or to run like hell. It's called the Fight or Flight Response. page 63
32. Emotion is energy in motion. We take our energy and put it in motion. page 79
33. Fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and anger are, in fact, tools. Tools are neutral-they can be used either for us, or against us. A knife can be used to heal or to hurt. A hammer can be used to build or to destroy. It is not the tool itself, but the way the tool is used that determines its benefit or detriment. p 79
34. Contrary to popular belief, our parents didn't teach us to feel fear. Our parents did teach us to use fear as a reason not to do something. p 83
35. Guilt is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change. p 87
36. A few of us were trained to use anger for change (except, perhaps, in athletics). p 87
37. B.F. Skinner pointed out, "Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless." p 89
38. Unworthiness will remind you, "This is not your path anymore." p. 97
39. The feeling of unworthiness is better described as humility. p97
40. Humility comes with maturity. p97
41. Beneath hurt is caring. The depth of the hurt indicates the depth of the caring. The anger that hides the hurting shows the degree of caring, too. p99
42. Another word for caring, of course, is love. Love is powerful. p99
43. 3 Beliefs About Death in Our Culture
a. life is purely biological, and when we die, we're dead.
b. after life, there is heaven or hell through all eternity.
c. we keep coming back, life after life, until we learn all we need to know
d. p 105
44. The What-The-Hell-Do-We-Have-To-Lose-Anyway? Club p107
45. The positive use of the imagination is often called visualization. p119
46. Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another. -Madonna p132
47. A goal is something tangible; a purpose is a direction. A goal can be achieved; a purpose is fulfilled in each moment. We can set and achieve many goals; a purpose remains constant for life. p135
48. Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes- Kenneth Hildebrand p136
49. While goals are chosen, a purpose is discovered. Our purpose is something we have been doing all along, and will continue to do, regardless of circumstances, until the day we die. p137
50. A dream is a goal-usually a significant goal that would fulfill one's purpose. As that dream is realized, another dream is chosen, and as that is satisfied, another. p137
51. When we refer to "living your dreams," we mean a life of movement from dream to dream, always on purpose. p137
52. When people confuse "purpose" with "goal," they often have trouble reaching a goal, which can interfere with living on purpose. p137
53. To discover your purpose, get a piece of paper and start listing all your positive qualities. You might want to write each positive quality on 3x5 cards. This will make shuffling them easier later. Examples: Are you kind? Considerate, Compassionate, Joyful etc. p141
54. A purpose usually begins with "I am," followed by an attitude ("joyful" happy, caring) and an action (giver, explorer, nurturer) p141
55. On another page (set of cards) start listing actions you find nurturing-the positive things you like doing most. Giving? Sharing? Exploring? Teaching? p141
56. Example to #54: "I am a cheerful giver" or "I am a joyful explorer"
57. An intention is what we want. Methods are the ways of getting it. An intention is our heart's desire. Methods are the actions, information, things and behaviors we use to get it. p147
58. Unlike our purpose, which is discovered, an intention is chosen. p147
a. method-> intention (what you want) <- method
59. Most people let their methods decide their intentions. p147
60. Those who look at what they already have before selecting what they want are involved in making do, not doing. p147
61. "If you do what you're always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." p147
62. When choosing a dream, look to your heart, not to your "reality." p147
63. An intention might be a method to achieve a greater intention, and that greater intention might be a method for obtaining a greater intention still. p147
64. For example, a taxi might be the method to get to the airport, the airport being the intention. The airport might be the method of getting to Chicago, a larger intention. Chicago might be a method of traveling West, which is a larger intention still, all of which fits within the purpose, "I am joyfully traveling West." p149
65. When human needs are not fulfilled, death occurs. Period p153
66. Needs are food, shelter, clothing, air, water and protection. Everything else we think we need is a want. p153
67. The rule of thumb: if you can live without it for even a short period of time, it's a want. p153
68. Selfing means doing for one's self. it means fulfilling the dreams, goal and aspirations inherent within us. p157
69. Selfish is the petty, endlessly greedy gathering of stuff and more stuff. It's the relentless pursuit of glamour at all costs. It's worshipping the god of other people's opinion. p 157
70. Selfing is knowing what you want-what you want, not what you should want because others say you should want it-and moving toward it. Others may call you selfish, but you know that you are selfing-"being yourself." p157
71. As Ralph Waldo Trine explained, "There are many who are living far below their possibilities because they are continually handing over their individualities to others. Do you want to be a power in the world? Then be yourself. Be true to the highest within your soul and then allow yourself to be governed by no customs or conventionalities or arbitrary man-made rules that are not founded on principle." p157
72. Those who do fulfill their dreams, naturally share that fulfillment with those around them. p157
73. The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. by Jules Renard p158
74. You can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want by John-Roger and Peter McWillis p 158
75. We have to move mentally, emotionally, and physically towards our goal. p163
76. We can do anything we want. If we don't do something, it is because we have committed our time, energy and resources somewhere else. p165
77. 4 Basic Areas People Live
a. marriage/family
b. career/professional
c. social/political
d. religious/spiritual
e. p167
78. The joy we see in others is a reflection of the joy in ourselves. We feel uncomfortable giving ourselves credit for our own joy. p173
79. When both people are lost in the same illusion, that's called "being in love," everything is hunky dory, for a while. p 173
80. The Dark Side is only something we see in another that we don't like about ourselves, and, again, are not honest enough to admit. p175
81. If A see's B's Dark Side, but B fails to see A's Dark Side, it's Dump City. A cries, "Free Again!" and B sings medley of torch songs. If both see it at once, the perfect lovers become the perfect enemies. p175
82. with children, you can learn something very important; how to give for the sheer joy of giving p175
83. If you give to children with any hope of return, you're inviting misery all around. p175
84. I have known more men destroyed by the desire to have wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots by William Butler Yeats p176
85. Self-Discovery, Self-Acceptance
86. A job is what you have when you want to take money to some other area of life in order to buy the necessities of life. p181
87. A career or profession is when the thing you love doing most is what you also get paid for doing, so you can do it all the time. p181
88. If you're a creative person, you must create your own creative outlet. And that means being in business. p181
89. "Work seven days a week and nothing can stop you" by John Moores
90. The efficient person gets the job done right; the effective person gets the right job done.
91. "the trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." by Lily Tomlin
92. "competition brings out the best in products, and the worst in people" by David Sarnoff
93. "What's a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority." by Robert Altman
94. "A cult is a religion with no political power." by Tom Wolfe p195
95. "Almost all of our relationships being," explained W.H. Arden, "and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods." p205
96. "You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate" p207
97. Types of Relationships
a. recreational relationships=people with similar interests
b. romantic relationships= sex or sexual desire
c. contractual relationships= something is exchanged for something else
d. common-goal relationships= people share a common goal, and that goal is the primary reason they relate
e. power-point relationship= one person becomes the "power point"
98. When we tell ourselves the truth about our life, we are better prepared to take the consequences. p223
99. it's one thing to tell others we're heading toward A when we know we're heading toward B. That's called tactics. It's quite another to tell ourselves we're heading toward A, when all the while we're making a beeline for B. That's called confusion, frustration and what's-a-nice-person like me doing in a life like this? p223
100. The thing that gets us to our goal is action. Mental action, emotional action and physical action all focused in one direction-gets us to our goal. p223
101. Humans can logically, and fairly accurately, project ahead in time. p223
102. Negative Consequences: it will cost money, it will take time, it will contain so many extra calories
103. procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the "someday I'll" philosophy by Denis Waitley p226
104. Page 225
a. when we choose, we must let other choices go.
b. when we choose, we risk losing.
c. when we choose, we risk winning.
105. Why do people add torture to torment? p227
106. defeat is part of most people's comfort zone. p227
107. "What would I do? What would happen to me?" "How would I cope?" All this is called the fear of success.
108. An even deeper reason we fear success is that we fear our own power. We are much more powerful than we let ourselves believe. p229
109. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it. by Robert Heinlein p230
110. If we choose, we may lose, but if we don't choose, we almost certainly lose. This is if we define losing as not getting what we want. Some people tell themselves, "If I don't play, I can't lose." As long as I don't lose, they say, "then everything's OK." The problem with the system of not losing is that you can never win. Realize that the risk of losing is part of winning, but never losing means never getting what we want. p231
111. Know that you are worthy. (We're all worthy of our dream.) Yes, you are special. (We all have a special dream, the doing of which will make us special to a great many people.) p231
112. "What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do." by Bob Dylan
113. Money, fame, and power-for- their own sake- all spell one thing: glamour. Glamour is one of the biggest traps in life. p233
114. Glamour is the someone or something outside us that we think will make us happy. That we are somehow incomplete without certain externals. And that if we have enough certain externals, we will never be unhappy again.
115. "you don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in better position than a rich person who is unhappy," explained Jean Kerr. "Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help." p233
116. Money, fame and power should not be aim as a goal. These are tools or methods to obtain our goal. If they become your goal, they are nothing, but distractions at best and addictions at worst. p233
117. "The one who marries for money, earns it." p235
118. Many people use money as the rational lie for not doing something they want to do. p235
119. "When you do what you love, the money follows," is probably a phrase you've heard before. It's true, but incomplete. p235
120. The complete statement is, "when you do what you love, the necessary money will follow." the money that's needed to fulfill your goal will appear, in the proper timing, as you prove yourself worthy (that is, as you do the work necessary to fulfill that goal). What will not appear is all the money that would be nice and make everything all comfortable and cozy to do what you love in precisely the moment you want it. p237
121. "Do what you love, and the necessary resources will follow." p 237
122. resources=methods
123. time=dreams p243
124. "What would you attempt to do if you know you could not fail?" by Dr. Robert Schuller p245
125. "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices" by William James p245
126. A goal should have these questions:
a. Want-> What do you want to do?
b. Qualities and Abilities-> How good quality and ability?
c. Limitations-> Waht are your resources and time?
127. [Qualities and Abilities]+[Limitations]+[Maintain]=Wants
128. Wants=
a. marriage/family
b. career/professional
c. social/political
d. religious/spiritual
e. recreation/fun
129. When you set a goal you have to define it. p257
130. There are 10,080 minutes in a week. There are 168 per week p259
131. Most people don't know much about the process of commitment, because most people don't keep most of their agreements. p275
132. Most people add a silent, unconscious modifying phrase to all their commitments:"...as long as it's not uncomfortable." p275
133. This process of growth is known as "grist for the mill." When making flour in an old stone mill, it is necessary to add gravel to the wheat before grinding it. This gravel is known as grist. The small stones that make up the grist rub against the grain as the mill wheel passes over them. The friction causes the wheat to be ground into a fine powder. If it wasn't for the grist, the wheat would only be crushed. To grind wheat fine enough for flour requires grist. After the grinding, the grist is sifted out, and only the flour remains. p277
134. Making & Keeping Commitments
a. Don't make commitments you don't plan to keep.
b. Learn to say no.
c. Make conditional agreements.
i. Example: "I'll be there, unless..."
d. Keep the commitments you make.
e. Write commitments down
f. Renegotiate at the earliest opportunity
i. Example: "I know I have an agreement with you, and I still plan to keep it, but something important has come up, and I wonder if we might be able to reschedule." If not granted, go back to D
135. In talking you out of your dreams, they are taking themselves back into their own comfort zone. p291
136. What we think about determines how we feel. p293
137. Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. by Dr. Robert Gilbert p296
138. In our imagination, what we behold we become. What we have beheld until this moment has gotten us what we are-and what we have. If we want something different-something greater-we must think greater thoughts. p297
139. To affirm is to make firm. An affirmation is a statement of truth you make firm by repetition. Affirmations always take place in the present, hence the wording is always present tense. "I am a successful orchestral conductor, making $100,000 per year," is how to state an affirmation, not, "I'm going to be..." or "I really want to be..." or "if it's not too much trouble, I'd really like to be.." p 297
140. I-May-Never-Win-But-At-Least-I'll-Never-Lose Attitude
141. Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or better. by John Updike
142. Chronic Tension is tension in the neck and shoulders all the time. p331
143. Contemplation is thinking about something, often something of an uplifting nature. Contemplation is a good time to "think about that," to consider the truth of it, to imagine the changes and improvements it might make in your life. p347
144. Seeding and tithing are two important aspects of achievement. One is saying "please," the other is saying "thank you." p359
145. Seeding and tithing are acknowledging the source of our good, our abundance. The source is whatever we choose that source to be-whichever organization represents the highest good you know. The acknowledgement is in the form of money. p359
146. Seeding is giving money away before you get something. As its name implies, it is planting a seed. p359
147. Tithing is giving away ten percent of your material increase. Tithing is like saying "thank you." p 359
148. Book on seeding and tithing try this book, "Wealth and Higher Consciousness" by John Roger p359
149. "delay is the deadliest form of denial." p367
150. Get in the habit of doing what needs to be done as it presents itself to be done-whether it needs to be done in that moment or not-creates an inner freedom for the next moment, the next activity. p369
151. Experience "is the name everyone gives to their mistakes" by Oscar Wilde p373
152. "Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time." by Rene Auberjonis p373
153. Set out each day to look foolish, stupid, blundering, awkward-anything you consider the perfect representation of imperfect. p373
154. It's not perfect being perfect. p373
155. We are experts at finding blame. We blame others for not making us happy, for letting us down, for not fulfilling our dreams. p387
156. One of the primary adults rules: We are individually responsible for our own lives. p387
157. Responsible simply means, "The ability to respond." p387
158. How to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable about anything- yes, anything! by Dr. Albert Ellis p389
159. How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove PhD
160. Being content, satisfied and joyful no matter what happens is a radical concept-but it's also basic rule of adult life. p389
161. The two enemies of memory are time and volume. p399
162. Prejudice= to pre-judge something p405
163. When people aren't ready to welcome mistakes as the great aids to education that they are, people deny them. p411
164. We criticize our behavior so that we can do better next time. It's known as critical thinking. p413
165. Mistakes show us what we need to learn. p411
166. Steps to Improve
a. Step 1: Act
b. Step 2: Look for the mistake (criticize)
c. Step 3: Learn how to do it better next time
d. Step 4: Go to Step 1
167. Thoughts or emotional energy is a distraction. p415
168. Distractions cannot get into your path. Learning the path is always your choice. p415
169. When others give advice, they do you a favor. When you put that advice to good use, the favor is returned. p435
170. Discipline comes form the word disciple-being a devoted student. p437
171. When we accept the rules of a given discipline and make them our own, we are no longer the discipline- we take a step toward mastery. p437
172. Life is a game. p467
173. "There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth." by Victor Borge p467
Author: John Roger and Peter McWilliams
ISBN: 0-931580-96-X
Go to 2017 Directory of Authors & Books
1. Discouraged= Exhaustion page 5
2. Training we received as children is appropriate for children, these same rules don't apply to adults. Children are dependent and adults are independent. page 5
3. We still let "what other people might think" affect our behavior. p. 5
4. Adults justify any personal failure by finding someone or something outside ourselves to blame. page 5
5. Humans are trained to honor "the comfort zone" page 5
6. New Actions= feel, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, anger= uncomfortable
7. fear= uncomfortableness
8. look into: everything we wish we had learned about life in school-but didn't
9. But=BS Behold the Underlying Truth page 17
10. "We are all, right now, living the life of our own choosing." page 23
11. FEAR=False Expectations Appearing Real page 33
12. Fear breads lack of experience, lack of experience breeds ignorance, ignorance breeds more fear page 35
13. When unreal fears become extreme, it's known as paranoia. page 35
14. Guilt is the anger we feel toward ourselves when we do something "wrong" page 39
15. We may do something new, enjoy the doing of it (or the result of doing it), and guilt will actually convince us that we didn't like it (or got nothing from it). Although we learned something from the failure, guilt steps in and convinces us, "The lesson wasn't worth cost." page 39
16. Unworthiness is the deep-seated belief we have about ourselves that tells us we're undeserving, not good enough, inadequate, and fundamentally deficient. page 43
17. In some Eastern traditions, they call this the center of Chi, a fundamental point for focusing energy and moving ahead in life. page 43
18. Abraham Lincoln said, "it is easy to make a man miserable while he feels he is unworthy of himself." page 45
19. Unworthiness, If someone loves us, we resent them-how can we respect anyone who falls for the facade we slapped together so haphazardly and manipulate so desperately? Anyone loving us must be easily deceived, and not worthy of our attention. Conversely, the people who dislikes us we tend to (sometimes secretly) admire-they must be very wise to see to the truth of our very being. page 45
20. A common "cover-up" for hurt is anger. page 47
21. Some people have anger as the automatic response to disappointment. page 47
22. A common defense against hurt feelings is depression. page 47
23. Over time, the result of all this fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and anger is discouragement. page 49
24. Discouragement promotes inaction, and inaction guarantees failure- a life of not living our dreams. page 49
25. When they are young, baby elephants are heavily chained to stakes driven deep in the ground. Pull as they might, they remain firmly tethered. Soon, the baby elephant becomes discouraged and stops pulling. it learns to stay put. Over time, the trainer uses lighter and lighter restraints. Eventually, a small rope attached to a stick barely anchored in the earth is sufficient to stop a fully grown elephant from moving. page 49
26. Eighty percent of success is showing up.- Woody Allen page 51
27. Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which does not possess- Samuel Johnson page 53
28. Good behavior is the last refuge of mediocrity- Henry S. Haskins. page 53
29. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield page 55
30. The major reasons parents don't raise their children free from trauma.
a. parents don't know any better
b. children require different rules than adults
c. parents have other things to do besides raising children
d. who on earth knows what a child needs when?
e. page 57
31. Human beings, as a species, have an in-built, automatic, biological response to perceived danger: to fight like hell or to run like hell. It's called the Fight or Flight Response. page 63
32. Emotion is energy in motion. We take our energy and put it in motion. page 79
33. Fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and anger are, in fact, tools. Tools are neutral-they can be used either for us, or against us. A knife can be used to heal or to hurt. A hammer can be used to build or to destroy. It is not the tool itself, but the way the tool is used that determines its benefit or detriment. p 79
34. Contrary to popular belief, our parents didn't teach us to feel fear. Our parents did teach us to use fear as a reason not to do something. p 83
35. Guilt is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change. p 87
36. A few of us were trained to use anger for change (except, perhaps, in athletics). p 87
37. B.F. Skinner pointed out, "Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless." p 89
38. Unworthiness will remind you, "This is not your path anymore." p. 97
39. The feeling of unworthiness is better described as humility. p97
40. Humility comes with maturity. p97
41. Beneath hurt is caring. The depth of the hurt indicates the depth of the caring. The anger that hides the hurting shows the degree of caring, too. p99
42. Another word for caring, of course, is love. Love is powerful. p99
43. 3 Beliefs About Death in Our Culture
a. life is purely biological, and when we die, we're dead.
b. after life, there is heaven or hell through all eternity.
c. we keep coming back, life after life, until we learn all we need to know
d. p 105
44. The What-The-Hell-Do-We-Have-To-Lose-Anyway? Club p107
45. The positive use of the imagination is often called visualization. p119
46. Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another. -Madonna p132
47. A goal is something tangible; a purpose is a direction. A goal can be achieved; a purpose is fulfilled in each moment. We can set and achieve many goals; a purpose remains constant for life. p135
48. Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes- Kenneth Hildebrand p136
49. While goals are chosen, a purpose is discovered. Our purpose is something we have been doing all along, and will continue to do, regardless of circumstances, until the day we die. p137
50. A dream is a goal-usually a significant goal that would fulfill one's purpose. As that dream is realized, another dream is chosen, and as that is satisfied, another. p137
51. When we refer to "living your dreams," we mean a life of movement from dream to dream, always on purpose. p137
52. When people confuse "purpose" with "goal," they often have trouble reaching a goal, which can interfere with living on purpose. p137
53. To discover your purpose, get a piece of paper and start listing all your positive qualities. You might want to write each positive quality on 3x5 cards. This will make shuffling them easier later. Examples: Are you kind? Considerate, Compassionate, Joyful etc. p141
54. A purpose usually begins with "I am," followed by an attitude ("joyful" happy, caring) and an action (giver, explorer, nurturer) p141
55. On another page (set of cards) start listing actions you find nurturing-the positive things you like doing most. Giving? Sharing? Exploring? Teaching? p141
56. Example to #54: "I am a cheerful giver" or "I am a joyful explorer"
57. An intention is what we want. Methods are the ways of getting it. An intention is our heart's desire. Methods are the actions, information, things and behaviors we use to get it. p147
58. Unlike our purpose, which is discovered, an intention is chosen. p147
a. method-> intention (what you want) <- method
59. Most people let their methods decide their intentions. p147
60. Those who look at what they already have before selecting what they want are involved in making do, not doing. p147
61. "If you do what you're always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." p147
62. When choosing a dream, look to your heart, not to your "reality." p147
63. An intention might be a method to achieve a greater intention, and that greater intention might be a method for obtaining a greater intention still. p147
64. For example, a taxi might be the method to get to the airport, the airport being the intention. The airport might be the method of getting to Chicago, a larger intention. Chicago might be a method of traveling West, which is a larger intention still, all of which fits within the purpose, "I am joyfully traveling West." p149
65. When human needs are not fulfilled, death occurs. Period p153
66. Needs are food, shelter, clothing, air, water and protection. Everything else we think we need is a want. p153
67. The rule of thumb: if you can live without it for even a short period of time, it's a want. p153
68. Selfing means doing for one's self. it means fulfilling the dreams, goal and aspirations inherent within us. p157
69. Selfish is the petty, endlessly greedy gathering of stuff and more stuff. It's the relentless pursuit of glamour at all costs. It's worshipping the god of other people's opinion. p 157
70. Selfing is knowing what you want-what you want, not what you should want because others say you should want it-and moving toward it. Others may call you selfish, but you know that you are selfing-"being yourself." p157
71. As Ralph Waldo Trine explained, "There are many who are living far below their possibilities because they are continually handing over their individualities to others. Do you want to be a power in the world? Then be yourself. Be true to the highest within your soul and then allow yourself to be governed by no customs or conventionalities or arbitrary man-made rules that are not founded on principle." p157
72. Those who do fulfill their dreams, naturally share that fulfillment with those around them. p157
73. The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. by Jules Renard p158
74. You can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want by John-Roger and Peter McWillis p 158
75. We have to move mentally, emotionally, and physically towards our goal. p163
76. We can do anything we want. If we don't do something, it is because we have committed our time, energy and resources somewhere else. p165
77. 4 Basic Areas People Live
a. marriage/family
b. career/professional
c. social/political
d. religious/spiritual
e. p167
78. The joy we see in others is a reflection of the joy in ourselves. We feel uncomfortable giving ourselves credit for our own joy. p173
79. When both people are lost in the same illusion, that's called "being in love," everything is hunky dory, for a while. p 173
80. The Dark Side is only something we see in another that we don't like about ourselves, and, again, are not honest enough to admit. p175
81. If A see's B's Dark Side, but B fails to see A's Dark Side, it's Dump City. A cries, "Free Again!" and B sings medley of torch songs. If both see it at once, the perfect lovers become the perfect enemies. p175
82. with children, you can learn something very important; how to give for the sheer joy of giving p175
83. If you give to children with any hope of return, you're inviting misery all around. p175
84. I have known more men destroyed by the desire to have wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots by William Butler Yeats p176
85. Self-Discovery, Self-Acceptance
86. A job is what you have when you want to take money to some other area of life in order to buy the necessities of life. p181
87. A career or profession is when the thing you love doing most is what you also get paid for doing, so you can do it all the time. p181
88. If you're a creative person, you must create your own creative outlet. And that means being in business. p181
89. "Work seven days a week and nothing can stop you" by John Moores
90. The efficient person gets the job done right; the effective person gets the right job done.
91. "the trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." by Lily Tomlin
92. "competition brings out the best in products, and the worst in people" by David Sarnoff
93. "What's a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority." by Robert Altman
94. "A cult is a religion with no political power." by Tom Wolfe p195
95. "Almost all of our relationships being," explained W.H. Arden, "and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods." p205
96. "You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate" p207
97. Types of Relationships
a. recreational relationships=people with similar interests
b. romantic relationships= sex or sexual desire
c. contractual relationships= something is exchanged for something else
d. common-goal relationships= people share a common goal, and that goal is the primary reason they relate
e. power-point relationship= one person becomes the "power point"
98. When we tell ourselves the truth about our life, we are better prepared to take the consequences. p223
99. it's one thing to tell others we're heading toward A when we know we're heading toward B. That's called tactics. It's quite another to tell ourselves we're heading toward A, when all the while we're making a beeline for B. That's called confusion, frustration and what's-a-nice-person like me doing in a life like this? p223
100. The thing that gets us to our goal is action. Mental action, emotional action and physical action all focused in one direction-gets us to our goal. p223
101. Humans can logically, and fairly accurately, project ahead in time. p223
102. Negative Consequences: it will cost money, it will take time, it will contain so many extra calories
103. procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the "someday I'll" philosophy by Denis Waitley p226
104. Page 225
a. when we choose, we must let other choices go.
b. when we choose, we risk losing.
c. when we choose, we risk winning.
105. Why do people add torture to torment? p227
106. defeat is part of most people's comfort zone. p227
107. "What would I do? What would happen to me?" "How would I cope?" All this is called the fear of success.
108. An even deeper reason we fear success is that we fear our own power. We are much more powerful than we let ourselves believe. p229
109. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it. by Robert Heinlein p230
110. If we choose, we may lose, but if we don't choose, we almost certainly lose. This is if we define losing as not getting what we want. Some people tell themselves, "If I don't play, I can't lose." As long as I don't lose, they say, "then everything's OK." The problem with the system of not losing is that you can never win. Realize that the risk of losing is part of winning, but never losing means never getting what we want. p231
111. Know that you are worthy. (We're all worthy of our dream.) Yes, you are special. (We all have a special dream, the doing of which will make us special to a great many people.) p231
112. "What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do." by Bob Dylan
113. Money, fame, and power-for- their own sake- all spell one thing: glamour. Glamour is one of the biggest traps in life. p233
114. Glamour is the someone or something outside us that we think will make us happy. That we are somehow incomplete without certain externals. And that if we have enough certain externals, we will never be unhappy again.
115. "you don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in better position than a rich person who is unhappy," explained Jean Kerr. "Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help." p233
116. Money, fame and power should not be aim as a goal. These are tools or methods to obtain our goal. If they become your goal, they are nothing, but distractions at best and addictions at worst. p233
117. "The one who marries for money, earns it." p235
118. Many people use money as the rational lie for not doing something they want to do. p235
119. "When you do what you love, the money follows," is probably a phrase you've heard before. It's true, but incomplete. p235
120. The complete statement is, "when you do what you love, the necessary money will follow." the money that's needed to fulfill your goal will appear, in the proper timing, as you prove yourself worthy (that is, as you do the work necessary to fulfill that goal). What will not appear is all the money that would be nice and make everything all comfortable and cozy to do what you love in precisely the moment you want it. p237
121. "Do what you love, and the necessary resources will follow." p 237
122. resources=methods
123. time=dreams p243
124. "What would you attempt to do if you know you could not fail?" by Dr. Robert Schuller p245
125. "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices" by William James p245
126. A goal should have these questions:
a. Want-> What do you want to do?
b. Qualities and Abilities-> How good quality and ability?
c. Limitations-> Waht are your resources and time?
127. [Qualities and Abilities]+[Limitations]+[Maintain]=Wants
128. Wants=
a. marriage/family
b. career/professional
c. social/political
d. religious/spiritual
e. recreation/fun
129. When you set a goal you have to define it. p257
130. There are 10,080 minutes in a week. There are 168 per week p259
131. Most people don't know much about the process of commitment, because most people don't keep most of their agreements. p275
132. Most people add a silent, unconscious modifying phrase to all their commitments:"...as long as it's not uncomfortable." p275
133. This process of growth is known as "grist for the mill." When making flour in an old stone mill, it is necessary to add gravel to the wheat before grinding it. This gravel is known as grist. The small stones that make up the grist rub against the grain as the mill wheel passes over them. The friction causes the wheat to be ground into a fine powder. If it wasn't for the grist, the wheat would only be crushed. To grind wheat fine enough for flour requires grist. After the grinding, the grist is sifted out, and only the flour remains. p277
134. Making & Keeping Commitments
a. Don't make commitments you don't plan to keep.
b. Learn to say no.
c. Make conditional agreements.
i. Example: "I'll be there, unless..."
d. Keep the commitments you make.
e. Write commitments down
f. Renegotiate at the earliest opportunity
i. Example: "I know I have an agreement with you, and I still plan to keep it, but something important has come up, and I wonder if we might be able to reschedule." If not granted, go back to D
135. In talking you out of your dreams, they are taking themselves back into their own comfort zone. p291
136. What we think about determines how we feel. p293
137. Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. by Dr. Robert Gilbert p296
138. In our imagination, what we behold we become. What we have beheld until this moment has gotten us what we are-and what we have. If we want something different-something greater-we must think greater thoughts. p297
139. To affirm is to make firm. An affirmation is a statement of truth you make firm by repetition. Affirmations always take place in the present, hence the wording is always present tense. "I am a successful orchestral conductor, making $100,000 per year," is how to state an affirmation, not, "I'm going to be..." or "I really want to be..." or "if it's not too much trouble, I'd really like to be.." p 297
140. I-May-Never-Win-But-At-Least-I'll-Never-Lose Attitude
141. Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or better. by John Updike
142. Chronic Tension is tension in the neck and shoulders all the time. p331
143. Contemplation is thinking about something, often something of an uplifting nature. Contemplation is a good time to "think about that," to consider the truth of it, to imagine the changes and improvements it might make in your life. p347
144. Seeding and tithing are two important aspects of achievement. One is saying "please," the other is saying "thank you." p359
145. Seeding and tithing are acknowledging the source of our good, our abundance. The source is whatever we choose that source to be-whichever organization represents the highest good you know. The acknowledgement is in the form of money. p359
146. Seeding is giving money away before you get something. As its name implies, it is planting a seed. p359
147. Tithing is giving away ten percent of your material increase. Tithing is like saying "thank you." p 359
148. Book on seeding and tithing try this book, "Wealth and Higher Consciousness" by John Roger p359
149. "delay is the deadliest form of denial." p367
150. Get in the habit of doing what needs to be done as it presents itself to be done-whether it needs to be done in that moment or not-creates an inner freedom for the next moment, the next activity. p369
151. Experience "is the name everyone gives to their mistakes" by Oscar Wilde p373
152. "Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time." by Rene Auberjonis p373
153. Set out each day to look foolish, stupid, blundering, awkward-anything you consider the perfect representation of imperfect. p373
154. It's not perfect being perfect. p373
155. We are experts at finding blame. We blame others for not making us happy, for letting us down, for not fulfilling our dreams. p387
156. One of the primary adults rules: We are individually responsible for our own lives. p387
157. Responsible simply means, "The ability to respond." p387
158. How to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable about anything- yes, anything! by Dr. Albert Ellis p389
159. How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove PhD
160. Being content, satisfied and joyful no matter what happens is a radical concept-but it's also basic rule of adult life. p389
161. The two enemies of memory are time and volume. p399
162. Prejudice= to pre-judge something p405
163. When people aren't ready to welcome mistakes as the great aids to education that they are, people deny them. p411
164. We criticize our behavior so that we can do better next time. It's known as critical thinking. p413
165. Mistakes show us what we need to learn. p411
166. Steps to Improve
a. Step 1: Act
b. Step 2: Look for the mistake (criticize)
c. Step 3: Learn how to do it better next time
d. Step 4: Go to Step 1
167. Thoughts or emotional energy is a distraction. p415
168. Distractions cannot get into your path. Learning the path is always your choice. p415
169. When others give advice, they do you a favor. When you put that advice to good use, the favor is returned. p435
170. Discipline comes form the word disciple-being a devoted student. p437
171. When we accept the rules of a given discipline and make them our own, we are no longer the discipline- we take a step toward mastery. p437
172. Life is a game. p467
173. "There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth." by Victor Borge p467
No comments:
Post a Comment